Monday, August 2

You know, smoking really makes you think sometimes. Especially when you’re alone during your lunch hour or something, you will think deep. Too deep and you’ll think of how certain things used to be.

That’s where the problem is; the word “used to”. It’s like “used to” is the fucking work which is very fucking irritating or whatever else that matters. Looking down to memory lane, I always turn to you guys; when times are up or down. I still remembered you guys were the only one cheering me up when I broke off with this particular person. I miss how we used to be close and shared everything. I miss how we used to always hang out. But simply put, I miss the good times, and yes, I'm starting to dislike the word "used to".

I recently shared a lot of things with my dear classmate; She En and she said “So now you don’t like mixing with us?” when I shared about my dilemma but that never even happened, just that it’s hard to let things go when you’re so stuck to it. Maybe it’s true what you guys said before; maybe I’m unappreciative and always expect you guys to meet to my timing when I don’t even meet yours; nevertheless, how it ended up so fucked up like now.

And don’t try to get the idea I can’t live without you guys, but still maybe patience and initiatives may or may not solve everything, every fucking thing.