Saturday, January 30

Sometimes, words from people can really bring one down; as deep as the abyss in the ocean. With this, we need to face reality and accept the fact that we can’t stop people’s mouth from talking; good or bad. It hurts; which explains why the world is unfair as the earth’s round. I know myself best, I'm not like this neither like that.

Blame the fact that I had a fucking naïve relationship. I don’t want to say any names here; but I’m reminded of the past every time I see you; even seeing you from far. No matter how hard it is to forget you and overcome the fact that everything’s over and impossible between me and you, it’s hard. It’s impossible as I know it is; for everything that matters as well. I just felt as though everything was like yesterday; everything happened yesterday.

But the problem is, do you know? I guess not, and thanks. Perhaps this is the reason why there’s politics and assumptions being made which is clearly just making an ass out of the latter. I guess only god can judge me but sometimes, it doesn’t work that way. Since when all of this matter, since when you seem to care so much to an extent that you’re practically butting in into everything. I’m not making sense here, because sometimes I myself don’t understand my own personal being. All I know is, I’m very determined this time and I am trying my best to make things work. This applies to everything else that matters. Now my conscious is contradicting everything.

Another fucking problem is always related to money. Cutting down from $50 to $25 a day is fucking little. Blame myself but I can foresee a lot of complications. How to survive, maybe I am exaggerating but fucking how to spent on this and that. And the thought of buying the LV messenger bag, but going to downgrade to Pedro bag instead. And the additional thought of buying a lot other things just seem to crash down the road.